How To Make Your Relationship A Success

In order for a relationship (whether friendly or romantic) to strive, it is imperative that we invest time, energy & other resources into building it and making it a success. This article is a one size fits all guide to building the right kind of relationship. How many of us have learned how to build loving relationships? Where did we learn, at home or in school? Like any business, there’s an art and science to building strong & healthy relationships. These are indispensable tips, written with romantic relationships in mind; but, with a little modification you can apply them to your friendships, family and even work relationships.

1. Create a safe environment where you can trust and share openly without fear. Don’t interrupt, even if you need to put your hand over your mouth to stop yourself. Learn to fight fairly, don’t call your partner names or threaten to do things that you may regret. Apologize when you know you should. If you’re too angry to listen, stop! Go into another room, take space for yourself, breathe and calm down. Remember: your partner is not the enemy.

2. Separate facts from emotions. What beliefs and feelings get triggered in you during conflicts? Ask yourself if there’s something from your past that is influencing how you’re seeing the situation now? The critical question you want to ask: Is this about him or her, or is it really about me? What’s the real truth? Once you’re able to differentiate facts from emotions, you’ll see your partner more clearly and be able to resolve conflicts from clarity.

3. Connect with the different parts of yourself. None of us are solo instruments. We’re more like a choir or an orchestra with several voices. What is your mind saying? What is your heart saying? What is your body saying? What is your “gut” saying? For example: My mind is saying “walk out on him without an explanation,” but deep down your heart is saying “I really love him.” Let these different voices or parts of you co-exist and speak to one another. In this way, you will find an answer that comes from your whole self.

4. Develop Compassion. Practice observing yourself and your partner without judging. Part of you might judge, but you don’t have to identify with it. Judging closes a door. The opposite of judging is compassion. When you are compassionate, you are open, connected, and more available to dialoguing respectfully with your partner. As you increasingly learn to see your partner compassionately, you will have more power to choose your response rather than just reacting.

5. The foundation for a thriving, growing, mutually-supportive relationship is being separate, yet connected. In co-dependent relationships, each person sacrifices part of him or herself — compromising the relationship as a whole. When you are separate and connected, each individual “I” contributes to creating a “we” that is stronger than the sum of its parts.

6. Partner, heal thyself. Don’t expect your partner to fill your emotional holes and don’t try to fill theirs. Ultimately, each of us can only heal ourselves. Your partner, however, can support the journey as you work with yourself. In fact, living in a loving relationship is healing in and of itself.

7. Relish the differences between you. The differences between you and your partner are not negatives. You don’t need a relationship with someone who shares all of your interests and views. We may sometimes fear that these differences are incompatibilities, but in fact, they’re often what keeps a relationship exciting and full of good fire.

8. Ask questions! All too often, we make up our own stories or interpretations about what our partners’ behavior means. For example: “She doesn’t want to cuddle, she has probably lost interest” or “He doesn’t call, hes out with another woman”. We can never err on the side of asking too many questions, and then listen to the answers from your whole self — heart, gut, mind and body. Equally important is to hear what’s not being said — the facts and feeling that you sense might be unspoken.

9. Trust! This of itself is self-explanatory. If both spouses can’t trust each other, the relationship is destined to fail.

10. Make time for your relationship. No matter who you are or what your work is, you need to nurture your relationship. Make sure you schedule time for the well-being of your relationship. Many things aren’t equal but we all have 24 hours in a day, 7 days a week, we make time for who and what you truly want. If you don’t make time for him/her, chances are someone else will and there will be doubts in the minds of your partner.

I am the Laydee Sharmz saying ‘your relationship should be one in which you’re happy & comfortable with your partner, if that’s not happening, get out’