“Inna Blacks & Skankie Bus”

Well my lovely readers, it would seem as if I’m becoming prone to public transportation drama as just a few weeks ago I shared with you the horrific experience on route from Waltham to Mandeville. Well folks, the night could not end without me sharing today’s bus drama. So in plain Jamaican terms, I invite you to sit tight and enjoy the ride from Mandeville to Kingston. TGIF: At 3:55pm I wished my co-workers a happy weekend and headed for Mandeville bus park. I boarded a Coaster for Kingston at approximately 4:05pm clad in my company shirt (JPS – I work for the most hated company in Jamaica). Having stated my seating preference to the conductor, it turned out that my attire didn’t work in my favor as the ‘loader bwoy’ (one who packs a bus in Jamaica) made it his point of duty to inform the entire bus that. “Miss JPS cyah manage fi damage har back lakka how JPS a damage poor people pocket”. Not sure what he meant by that but anyhow his statement had drawn attention to me and from here on the drama began to unfold.

At 4:15 the bus drove out, Barry G/Mello FM blazing through the speakers, people chatting and yes, we all anticipated a good ride into the city. Not long after, I realized the vehicle was slowing down a bit; although we were going down a hill which would require the driver to apply the brake, something about this sudden slowness felt totally wrong. And then as Jamaican people would say ‘braps’ the bus came to a hault.

“Skankie yuh neva check fi si if we did waan gas before we lef out, we run out enuh bredda” shouted the now frustrated driver to the conductor. “Blacks a since day we throw een 5 gran in deh” replied Skankie to the driver. By this time, the passengers were NOT amused and so as expected (typical Jamaicans) everyone started ‘cussing’.

Blacks disembarked the bus, grabbed 2 bottles, told us he’d soon return and ‘boomed’ a ride to Shell gas station, a few minutes from where the bus gave its final cry for gas. Being the smart one & sensing oncoming danger (as the bus had stopped at a VERY bad spot) I came out of the bus and others followed thereafter. As for Blacks ‘soon’ return; five minutes turned into ten, ten into fifteen & finally after twenty minutes he returned. He gassed the bus and alas we were off on our journey.

“God please don’t let anything else happen on this journey especially on the highway” I prayed as we travelled. As we approached the first toll, one man saw it necessary to strike up a rather loud conversation with the female passenger beside him. The conversation was on relationships and as the woman explicitly stated her views, the man had the audacity to pull me into the conversation. “Miss JPS yuh woulda deh wid nuh bruk pocket man lakka mi like how yuh a work up yuh good money” was the line used to pull me in. In my mind, I’m saying “weh di baxside mi wear dis company shirt fah today”. To exclude myself from the conversation, I quickly plugged in my headphones but his volume had exceeded that of my BlackBerry. And he proceeded, “that’s y mi nah send nuh ooman guh school cau wen dem dun get educated mi nuh good fi dem again, dats y nuff a dem dead cau dem tek man money an’ tun roun dis dem”.

I regretted wearing my JPS shirt as it was used against me so many times in one setting. “Yuh si all dem pretty gal deh weh wuk inna JPS dem can get any man dem waan an’ a money man dem waan soh more time di rich bwoy dem bax food outta wi mouth” he continued. In my mind, I’m like “sas crise mek dis man nuh stop”.

It continued but too much for this medium. Alas! I had reached my stop & quickly exited the bus.

Lessons: 1)Never wear a company shirt when taking public transportation & 2)Get a car ASAP!

And that’s it for today’s bus drama!

I am Ms. Laydee Sharmz saying travel safely

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