Sex: Want or Need? Relationship: Madam or Mistress?

When a woman or man says that their spouse has sexual NEEDS that he/she is unable to satisfy, what do they really mean? And is it acceptable for your spouse to find someone else to fulfill that need? Since when did sex become a need? From ever since my necessities include food, water, air clothes & money.

It has been drilled in our psyche that “a man has needs”. While psychology states that one of man’s most fundamental requirements for survival is sex, I do believe many persons are a tad confused as to whether sex is a need or want.

While persons have died from hunger or a lack of air, I’m yet to hear of anyone who has died from sexual inactivity. Virgins do exist; take into consideration priests and nuns who’ve taken vows to remain pure until their dying days or those who refuse to engage in sexual activity until marriage. Many might fail to agree with me but I do believe we need to do away with this rubbish that sex is a need.

Don’t tell me sexual desires are natural, so there is no point in fighting them. Hair growth is natural yet we shave. He needed sex isn’t an excuse. In fact, it’s a misnomer. He WANTS sex, just not from you. That’s a harsh reality that many women fail to realize. A man who cheats doesn’t need to, he wants to. He makes a conscious decision to seek pleasure from another woman. I can definitely relate to this!

So, Mistress Iva Loiuse (author of Mistress Secrets) it must have been sad spending so many years satisfying another woman’s husband’s need. What a life to have lived. Who wants to be a mistress all the days of their lives? While it may feel good initially, it must get depressing after a while. According to Louise, women need to understand their roles and accept that they can’t be all things to their man and that he should be allowed to find women who satisfy the unfulfilled “needs”. Sorry, but I don’t buy that crap! Mistresses live sad, pathetic and lonely lives and there’s no going around that.

My fellow blogger, Patria sums it up very well: The process of selecting a partner, particularly a lifelong partner, requires that you find a mate who checks most of your boxes. And the ones they don’t check, you do without.

As I prepare myself to embrace a new relationship in 2015, I declare I do want a needy man, but one who only “needs” me.