The 2014 Calabash Experience

For those who know me well, you are fully aware that I’m a lover of literature, the performing arts, nature, books and just about anything else that can stimulate my mind and aid my intellectual development. With that in mind, it comes as no surprise that I attend the annual staging of Calabash Literary Festival every year (however, they’ve decided to go bi-annually as of 2014 so my next visit will be 2016). This post is titled ‘The 2014 Calabash Experience’ for a myriad of reasons and you’ll find out as you read along. I invite you to sit back, relax and indulge in this experience.

Journey & Arrival:

So the experience commenced at 10:30 on the morning of June 1, 2014 when we boarded the faithful ‘Eddie’ and set out for Jakes, Treasure Beach in St. Elizabeth. Having gone to Treasure Beach on numerous occasions, one would think that we knew the route well. Apparently not as on reaching a crossroads we took the right heading to Santa Cruz instead of the left turn which would take us to our destination. And so we travelled almost twenty minutes off the route deep into the bushes before realizing that nowhere looked familiar. Upon reaching a small house we met a young lady and asked for directions.

Lady: “Drive guh straight back up deh soh til yuh si waan bus shed, tek dah turn deh and yuh suppose fi end up back pon di right road” 

OK nice, this doesn’t help much we thought. So who best to ask than a taxi driver? And that we did. Alas! We were back on the right route. Within thirty minutes we had arrived at Treasure Beach. Yes! Nothing like a breathtaking view of the ocean kissed by radiant sunshine coupled with good friends and most importantly, good literature. If you ask me, this is what I call a perfect Sunday. On reaching the venue, we met a Rasta man under a coconut tree selling hats to yield off the sun

Rassta Man (faking an accent): Hey ladies! Any hats for y’all today? Gotta protect da skin from da sun ya know

I still don’t understand why Jamaicans are cultured into ‘twanging’ to impress tourists when tourists want to hear our Creole.

JV: Lissen nuh bredrin, a Jamaica mi come from, mi nuh tourist. Wha mi a do wid dat?

Rassta Man (breaks into Jamaican Creole): Soh unu tan, doah waan black man put cornmeal inna dem pot

I tell you, ignorance is a heck of a thing.

Lunch-Time:

As hunger pierced our stomachs, we visited Pot Snapper restaurant for lunch. However, after seeing the menu, only one member of our pack wanted food from there. So myself and the others visited a jerk man further down the street. While ordering, JV asked for jerk sauce.

Vendor: Mi nuh use it enuh cau yuh waan si it give mi ‘hecup’ (the rural term for hiccup)

Me: But after yuh nah jerk fi yuh self boss?

JV: Slackness dat man! How yuh fi a jerk and doah have jerk sauce?

After making our purchase, we returned to the restaurant to sit comfortably. For a while we were skeptical as to whether or not the owners would allow us to eat there but we took the chance anyway. Then opening the foil wrapper to consume our jerk chicken and festival, Shabba (friend from Venezuela) realized her meat wasn’t done properly. So we left JV to finish her meal and journeyed back to the vendor to request a refund, as easy as 1 2 3 we got our money back. While walking back to the restaurant where we had left JV, we met her standing outside with the food in her hand.

JV: The lady run mi outta har place enuh

Restaurant Owner: My girl mi aguh need da seat deh now enuh cau si customer a come (indicating that she needed to exit the restaurant because she hadn’t purchased any food there and others were about to purchase)

Such poor customer service I thought. I doubt this restaurant makes money on a regular basis, thank God for Calabash. Dear Pot Snapper Restaurant, unu try memba seh wen dem tourist deh gone back a dem yaad, a we an’ unu lef dung yah soh unu can tek show off, di jerk man weh send on a refund will get preference over unu. 

The Calabash Experience:

Now to the reason I visited St. Elizabeth in the first place. Having settled in the front row, I was just left to devour the pulsating forms of literature that presented itself. My ears were captivated by a colorful array of words against a backdrop of the beautiful Caribbean Sea. I was treated to the likes of Ibo Cooper, Carolyn Cooper, Amina Balckwood-Meeks and Judy Mowatt among a host of others. The poem ‘That Place’ has left an indelible mark on my mind. The content is too explicit for this medium but as Kalado would say ‘woman yuh pum-pum bring life’  the piece ‘That Place’ gave a rather profound description of the power of a woman’s genitalia. And of course, how could I attend this event and not purchase books. Yes books, my love! I got all of three.

At 5pm, the curtains came down to close yet another superb staging of the Calabash Literary Festival.  Upon leaving the venue, patrons paved the sidewalks and roadways, mingling with their colleagues and chatting about the event. As we walked towards our vehicle, a resident of the community rode up on a bike.

Resident (faking an accent): Y’all gotta came out of da road because caaurs will hit you down

My Friends & I: *erupted in laughter*

Resident (resorts to Jamaican Creole): Unu can tan deh a laugh after mi, wen car claat unu raass unu will know

I tell you, Jamaicans are an amazing set of people. Despite everything else, I really love my people.  At 5:40 in the afternoon, we again boarded the faithful “Eddie” and headed back to cool cool Mandeville. PS: St. Elizabeth hot yuh fret!

Calabash 2014 was indeed an unforgettable event and I’m looking forward to the next staging in 2016. I do hope you enjoyed the experience. And if you have never attended Calabash, get your butts down there in 2016.

I am Laydee Sharmz saying ‘you define your own happiness so live the life you love”. One Love!